You know your blog’s having a bad week when…. When you have two Bachelorette recaps back-to-back. Sheesh! Sorry about that.
Anways, on with the fun. For this episode, Jilly takes all of the remaining bachelors to her hometown of Vancouver and the first single date goes to Kiptyn.
One-on-One Date: Kayakin’ with Kiptynite
It’s obvious that Kiptyn is Jillian’s big crush so it’s no surprise that he gets the first one-on-one date. The lovebirds go kayaking to the market… you know… Canadian stuff.
Kiptynite proves he’s good at grocery lists, good in the kitchen, and well… good at just about everything!
After dinner, they sit in a candlelit room and talk about likes and dislikes, heartbreak or in Kiptynite’s case, lack there of. He asks her what she looks for in a guy, to which she anxiously responds:
“Physically? You can just go look in the mirror!”
Way to be non-chalant, Jilly. Simmer. Down. Now.
Back at the hotel, all the guys are sitting in the living room analyzing possible outcomes of the Kiptyn/Jilly date. Does she like him? Does she like bad guys? Or, if you’re Aviator Jake, “Uh ohhh…Am I ‘too perfect’?
I guess I just have one question: Why is Robby in a fluffy hotel robe and all of the other dudes fully dressed?
GROUP DATE: Curling/2010 Vancouver Olympics promotion
Jillian apparently got paid a massive amount to promote the 2010 Olympics, which just so happen to be in Vancouver. She’s got the logo sweatshirt and takes them to one of the actual Olympic arenas. It’s a curling dates for goodness sakes!
The dudes are split into two teams to compete in a curling “match” (is that what it’s called?) and the winning team gets to spend the evening with the bachelorette.
Someone had to pull Tanner P to the side and explain that they weren’t curling hair….rather playing an Olympic sport. Kidding. But would anyone be surprised?
Juan gets overconfident ….”Curling is about flexibility, balance, and touch… And I’ve got all three of them.”
Wes falls on the ice and blows it for his team. Don’t quit your day job! … oh, wait, that’s what he’s here promoting.
Jesse has the best round of them all and launches into a silly victory dance which goes on about a 45 seconds too long. ‘Twas one of those funny things that awkwardly continues long after everyone stops laughing.
So the Red Team wins thanks to Jesse. They get a fresh seafood dinner and night cruise around Vancouver.
Jake gets some alone time with her first and reminisces about he and Jilly’s first date: “That made my year. It made my life.”
She tells him to chill out and just be himself and thus launches the “how perfect is too perfect?” argument.
“I’ve been labeled as too perfect my whole life.” … Gosh, doesn’t everyone hate being labeled?!
A glance into David/The Rock’s alone time:
“That spandex today was my favorite outfit.”
He talks about her rear-end for a few minutes and is completely inappropriate. This was his romantic, knight-in-shining-armor intro to attempt to kiss her. She turns him down and The Rock proceeds to pout and look shocked because such things NEVER happen to him!
TWO-MAN DATE: Mike and Pizza Boy Mark
It’s a shootout date. One stays. One Goes. Surprisingly, it’s a helicopter date yet again!
It went a little something like this:
Mike snuggles up to Jillian in the helicopter ride. Mark sits yawning on the other side.
Mike butters her up with compliments. Mark is quiet and looks stoned.
Mike makes a cheesy toast at dinner. Mark is way outside of his comfort zone! (Two-man dates are never fun.)
Jillian caps off her alone time with Mike with a hug, thus tossing him into the dreaded “friend-zone”.
Mark gets the rose…. What’s Mike’s supposed to do now? Dumped on top of a mountain with no where to go. Add that to the list of awful places to be dumped…. along with Sandals Jamaica and the altar.
Well, this cocktail party doesn’t exactly happen. Tanner P opens up and shares with her that some of the bachelors actually have girlfriends back home. (collective “BOOOO”)
Chris Harrison brings all the guys together and plays mediator. He sure got a lot of air-time this episode.
“If you don’t like her then just leave! I straight up have a crush on the girl and I don’t get to talk to her.” – Break-dancer Michael
At this point, everyone BUT Jillian knows that it’s Wes.
Roses go to:
Kiptyn/ Jesse/ Mark
Wes (wah wahhh)
Tanner the Foot Fetish Dude
You know what that means…..Juan and David BOTH GO HOME! Couldn’t have scripted that better if I’d tried.
I just wish they would’ve made them share a cab!
Until next week,
Song-of-the-day: \”Handcuff Killa\” by Royal Bangs