The Fulmerazzi

…a day in the life

40 days of no_____ February 25, 2009

Filed under: holidays schmolidays — Lauren Fulmer @ 10:48 am

Today is Ash-Wednesday which means it’s time to figure out what I’m going to do/give up for Lent this year.  Now,  I grew up in a non-denominational Christian church where this practice wasn’t mandatory… but it’s always been something I like to do this time of year.

 

40 days of either giving something up OR introducing a good new practice into your life.

 

Anyways, I got into a humorous convo with the co-workers this morning as we all huddled around the coffee pot  in the kitchen. Before I launch into this post… I  want you to know that this practice/tradition is absolutely not something I take lightly, but I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the ideas flying around this morning.

 

Some of my favorites?

  • Giving up a specific (anonymous) Account Executive in our office. I can see it now. He pops in my office with a project and I just casually respond: “I’m so sorry, _____, but I’ve given you up for Lent so, for the next 40 days, you can walk that work right down to Katie’s office.”

 

  • MEN.  Now I get a huge kick out of this one because 100% of the time this idea comes from the single gal. “I’m giving  up men altogether. No dating for a month! Stupid boys…”  Wait. Did I miss something? SINGLE, by definition my dear,  means that you don’t have a man to begin with…so this might be hard on you, huh?

 

  • Gossip. I can’t help but think that this is an easy cop-out since it’s technically a sin by its very nature.Are we really allowed to “give up” something that we’re commanded not to do anyways?   Like…. Gossip this year and perhaps cheating  in 2010?  (side-note: I suppose if this is something you really struggle with then it’s a great gesture…I’m just saying!)

 

  • CSI. Yes, I’m referring to the TV show and No, I’m not kidding.  Haha… I’m going to throw my roommate, Lynds, under the bus with me on this one– but we find ourselves watching this show multiple times throughout the week. Not necessarily because we’re big crime-dorks, but because they’re mini-stories. We’ve been too busy to really keep up with all the different series… so we’re drawn to shows that both open AND close a story in the same episode. (and I may or may not have a crush one of the CSIs)

 

Realistically, I’m still not sure what I’ll give up this year. All I know is that I’ve had coffee and candy already this morning so I suppose those two things I’ll have to rule out…. dang!

 

Good luck!

 

L

 

Song-of-the-day: \”The Funeral\” by Band of Horses

 

Thanks, Girl Scouts! February 24, 2009

Filed under: hi...hello...hi,Uncategorized — Lauren Fulmer @ 11:17 pm

 

An open letter to Girl Scouts of America:

 

You’re cute and all … but you’re everywhere!

 

It was 8 AM. I was half-asleep and groggy. There ya’ll were in my office building lobby with giant handmade signs and big grins on your faces. You’re lucky I’m just a sucker who happens to have a thing for Thin Mints.

anybody want some cookies?!

anybody want some cookies?!

 

 

images-22

Apparently, you young ladies must’ve really been on top of your game this morning, because ever single one of my co-workers had the exact same idea.

 

My company single-handedly just funded your next camping trip. Cookies EVERYWHERE! 

 

Well, I may not have gone out-on-the-town tonight to celebrate… but (1/2 box of Thin Mints later) you sure put the FAT in my Fat Tuesday!

 

 

 

Thanks for that,

Lauren P. Fulmer

 

*PS* I was never a girl scout and kinda regret it. I would’ve made a fab scout, but then again,  I’m awful with sales…

 

 

(totally unrelated) Song-of-the-day: \”Paper Aeroplane\” by Angus & Julia Stone

 

Birthday Shoutout: T-W-I-N-S! February 23, 2009

Filed under: birthday shoutout — Lauren Fulmer @ 12:02 pm

Amber and Ashley Burkemper…. arguably the cutest, kindest, and most fun twins you’ll ever meet! I swear–  God made one of them and decided to double-the-recipe when He saw what He had created. It was just TOO good : )

 

Happy Birthday to my sweets, Amber & Ashley!

 

twins-sunshine

 

backs1

 

Other famous twins?…

 

olsens

Full house days... who even KNEW there were 2 of them? The earliest example of body-doubles on a sitcom...

 

america's fave twins icon? sorry, wrigley.

america's fave twins icon? sorry, wrigley. Burks got ya beat!

 

Amb and Ash… two of my best friends, sorority sistahs, and college roommates. I love and miss you both! Happy 25th gals. See ya in  AZ…

 

Don't we all want to be a Burkemper?
Don’t we all want to be a Burkemper?
Much Love,
Fulms
Twin song request for the day:  \”Untouched\” by The Veronicas
*fun fact… both Ambie and Ash requested this song AND the Veronicas are a band formed by twin sisters. coincidence? I think not.
 

The Bachelor: oohh those scandalous nights. February 20, 2009

Filed under: Bachelor, BABY — Lauren Fulmer @ 10:02 am

The over-night dates….  by FAR the most awkward week in the Bachelor series. In what world is it fun to admit on national television that you are spending a steamy evening in the honeymoon suite but then that you are knowingly allowing your man to repeat this act with two other gals?! Hmmm….

 

Let’s get this recap started, shall we?

 

First off was Jillian. Enter Jill and Jason in matching plaid tops sitting on the beautiful cliffs in New Zealand. Cute.

 

At one point they walk up to the edge and Captain Smooth tries to do the “King of the World Titanic- thing” off the side of the cliff and she wasn’t having it.

 

Jason asks her 82,447 times how she feels about him…..fishes for compliments. Jill gets a bit tipsy at winery and Jason takes this opportunity to pull out the invite from Chris Harrison to stay together in the overnight. Poor Chris Harrison. Fifteen seasons of the ol’ overnight suite card gig…. all of those hook-ups and broken hearts are kinda on his hands.

 

Cut to a makeout sesh in the hot tub. Exotic romantic soundtrack. Jason: “We were both getting really passionate. It was steamy in there…Because of US ( insert dweeb laugh: hahahaa huu huh huh)!”

 

Ummm… ABC: Cut to commercial?

 

 

Cheerleader Molly is up next and the poor thing gets the rainy day date… Such an omen. What does J have on the agenda?

 

Rainy day bungee jumping!  They smooch before the jump. Gag.  After a series of “fake jumps” they finally go for it. They proceed to kiss whilst hanging upside down on bungee cord. 

 

Jason screams like a little schoolgirl… Boy just reversed his puberty with that scream.

 

uh oh... weiner alert

uh oh... weiner alert

 

At lunch, Molly pulls out a Santa’s List of questions for Jason. But instead of inquiring on how he plans to solve the world’s problems… she asks his fave color, ice cream, etc.  Coooool!

 

He brings her to dinner and the room is decorated like a giant polar bear. Bear rug. Bear seat-covers. Bear everything. I can almost hear Jason cursing out the set design crew under his breath.

 

nothing sets the mood like...

nothing sets the mood like...

 

Apparently Molly has seen the show because she jumped the gun on the whole “overnight” ordeal and asked HIM to stay the night! After all… her dad says she’s a winner! From hot tub to the bath tub this time. There’s even a rose petal trail to the tub….(nice work, interns. )

 

 

Finally, it’s Melissa’s turn. I made a mental note tonight that girlfriend for sure wears/owns a bumpit. In case you missed the infomercial, it’s basically a plastic gadget that makes a faux poof/bump in a girl’s ponytail. Stylish in the south… in a strip-mall sort of way. 

 

bumpit

bumpit

yaah girl! there ya go...

yaah girl! there ya go...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 By now, Jason and Melissa have perfected the whole “Run, jump, lift embrace sequence.”

 

They head to the hot springs for a dip and a chat. Jason proceeds to trip into the hot pools. What a goooon!  I will say…the man is a poster boy for Bowflex (if you’re into that kinda thing).

 

Anyways, cut to the point, and they open the letter from Chris for the overnight suite. Did anyone else notice that Chris has girlie handwriting?… Might as well have had squiggly letters and hearts for the i’s.

 

 

Time for the rose ceremony. Note to Jason:  Mr. Bean called and wants his suit back. 

 

Surprisingly… (drumroll)… it’s JILLIAN that goes home this week!

 

As a final desperate plea, she shares her super creepy dream of Ty trying on her high heels and them just napping together. Exactly what dads don’t want to hear: Your son is a future cross-dresser. 

 

Judging by the fact that he’s outside weeping on the porch, I think he knows he made the wrong decision…  Jason just really needs Ty right now.

 

Stay tuned,

 

bachelorette

 

Guilty Pleasure Song-of-the-Day: \”Crush\” by David Archuleta

 

delicious dish! February 19, 2009

Filed under: fun in the oven — Lauren Fulmer @ 11:12 pm

One of my new favorite mid-week hobbies is cooking dinner with the gals. Ever since this past magical Christmas morn when I unwrapped a new apron (thanks, Ma. Aren’t we funny!) I decided it might be time to learn.

 

Cooking is an art. Plus, it sorta slices through the monotonous patterns of turkey sandwiches and Lean Cuisines. Baked Chicken Florentine meal AGAIN? No thanks.

 

Emma provided tonight’s recipe: Grilled Lime-Chicken Tacos with Mango salsa. We also made a homemade black bean salsa that was to DIE for (recipe courtesy of Miche)!

 

Ok , so I’m about to pull an “Evan Weatherford” and publish my dish on my blog. (Haha… sorry buddy, just too easy!)

 

img_3459

chicken... meet lime. Lime... chicken.

 

mango/cilantro heaven

mango/cilantro heaven

 

"annyong.".....ANNYONG. (a select few will understand this reference)

"annyong.".....ANNYONG. (a select few will understand this reference)

fancy feast

fancy feast

 

img_3474

 

Dinner was fantastic and my two friends- Ben & Jerry- even made an appearance for dessert in the form of a little Cherry Garcia. 

 

I see a cooking show in our future. I’m thinking either: “Fun in the Oven” or “Foodin’ with Fulms”.  Ha. A girl can dream.

 

 

Bon Apetit, 

 

L

 

Song-of-the-day: \”Consoler of the Lonely\” by The Raconteurs

 

Cookie Drunk… A Valentine’s 09 story February 17, 2009

Filed under: on my mind — Lauren Fulmer @ 11:45 pm

Good ol’  Valentine’s day. Take it or leave it. Love it or hate it.

 

For me, the two main players in the V-day game: being in a relationship and that magic day that is Feb 14th, have never crossed paths or even come close to meeting.  Thus, the only light that I’ll allow myself to acknowledge this often disgusting holiday is in the light of friendship & community.

 

My roommate Lynds and I, in an effort to skip town and dodge the dreaded singles-mixers in the city, decided to hit the road and visit some pals in Nashville.  I’ve had a lot running through my mind lately-  a quarter-life crisis some may say… so the long drive and some fresh non-city air were quite therapeutic.

 

A few things I learned along the way? :

 

1) You find yourself doing mundane tasks such as counting billboards when you’re on the same highway for 7 hours.  There’s an equal number of  a) adult bookstores &   b) evangelistic “you’re going to Hell” signs along the road.   SAD.

 

WTHeck? There's gotta be a better way to spread the news.

WTHeck? There's gotta be a better way to spread the news.

 

2) When you’re in a town famous for its unique coffee shops, Starbucks just seems to lose its appeal. Sorry, Bux. I cheated on you this weekend in a big way.

 

3) Men can actually cook. And do it well. A giant group of us made dinner at Annie’s house Sunday night and the dudes insisted on taking care of the meal. 100% refreshing.

 

4) I hate semis,  big trucks, etc… and strongly believe that they should have their own separate highway. Not only did they jack with my 85 mph cruise-control style, but they gave me a serious bad-ttitude. Road rage?

 

road-rage1

 

5) There is such thing as being “cookie-drunk” and it’s a beautiful thing. Give it a year and we’ll have it in google search. 

 

OK, but to be serious for a moment… What I truly found this weekend was true community. A group of people determined to do life together and to be family to each other. It’s a beautiful and rare thing and I’m convinced that there are people that will search their entire lives for this and never find it!

 

family candid

family candid

 

Almost 500 miles from home and I couldn’t have felt more loved. Better yet, it proved that there’s more to this holiday as a single gal than Damien Rice on repeat and sending myself flowers.  Another Valentine’s Day came and went… and let me tell ya… for once, I don’t hate it!

 

 

Cheers,

LPF

 

Song-of-the-day:  \”I Turn My Camera On\” by Spoon

 

Love Week Day Two: Bachelor Recap February 10, 2009

Filed under: Bachelor, BABY — Lauren Fulmer @ 11:41 pm

Sticking with the love/romantical theme of the week… time for a Bachelor recap of this week’s debacle.

 

Oh the infamous “home-town dates”. An opportunity for each young lady’s relatives to really fly their family freak-flags. This week I could’ve written a novel documenting all of the hilarious moments, but in an effort to keep this short… here are a few of my faves.

 

Date #1: Jillian in Canada

Upon arrival at her parents’ house, Dad immediately drapes Jason in a gigantic Canadian flag. 

 

Then, uh oh… the family brings up the hot dog analogy again. (What IS it with this quirky test they do!?) Apparently, he’s a mustard guy. “Best of both worlds.”

 

mustard guy?... nice.

mustard guy?... nice.

 

Jill’s sweet mama launches into poetry at dinner:

 

“In your heart i hope you find love

your deserve to fly high like a dove”

 

Later, mom used her Canadian accent to her advantage when she successfully rhymes rain and “a-GAIN”.

 

Enter: Grandma. Granny wore a sparkly tie… and gave Jason a gift of Canadian flag boxers. The whole clan bursts into song singing, “Oooohhh CANADA!” Then she proceeded to  kiss Jason on the lips.

 

Ha… I liked them. My kinda family: Super down-to-earth and silly!

 

Date #2: Molly in Michigan

Opening dialogue all I hear is” golf, golf, golf, blah blah, golf, golf.”

 

We learn a few things about cheerleader Molly in the first scene. She proves she an awful golfer, that she legitimately pops her collar, and is terrified of earning her parents’ approval. 

 

Time to meet the parents. At first glance, they seem normal enough. Things get awkward when Mom decides to lighten the mood and brings out silly hats for everyone to wear. Jason gets the indian headdress, dad got the stuffed beer-mug cap.  Family traditions at their best!

 

Next, Mom pulls Jason into the arts & crafts closet and has him draw a picture of Molly with colored pencils, while dad has a chat with his daughter.

 

Mr. Insensitive says to his little girl: “I’m not surprised you’re where you’re at… because you’re a winner. But should you not make it all the way, and you’re getting in that limo… DON’T CRY!”  

 

Thanks, Dad.

 

Date #3: Naomi in California

New observation as of this episode: Nao has an under-bite. Oh well, she also looks like Eva Mendes, so girlfriend’s good-to-go!

 

As with the other dates, Jason and Naomi get a little alone time before meeting the fam.  Right before he goes in for the kiss, she looks and him, giggles, and says: “You’re like my potential future husband.”  Freeze frame. Insta-mood killer.  Note to reader: DON’T say this. Ever. Now, it’s safe to assume Jason doesn’t mind since he put himself on a lame reality show to bag a wife- but 99.9999% of men wouldn’t react the same way…

 

On to meet the fam. First, Mom brings out hula-hoops for everyone to play with. “Be one with the hula hoop.”

 

**Side-note: Jason looks like a total wiener trying to hula hoop. **

 

sam-snead

work it

 

Story-time! Mom tells a story about how she hit a dove in her car a few days ago, but instead of owning up to it as an accident, she says: “It killed itself!”  

 

So, the story is one thing, but mom takes it to a whole new level. Now, she didn’t dare leave it for roadkill,  so she bagged it and put it in the freezer. Mom asks Jason to say the eulogy for the dead dove and to help the family bury it. 

 

To help put Jason at ease, Mom says: “That’s nothing… that’s the fun stuff.” 

 

Date 4: Melissa in Dallas

First off, Mel made Jason’s son, Ty, a “tooth-fairy box” so she gets automatic brownie points.

 

Unfortunately, Mel’s parents aren’t interested in being part of the whole Bachelor publicity-scam, so they opted out of meeting Jason. Instead, he gets to meet her select married friends that conveniently also have cute, young children.

 

Melissa’s translation: See!? Look at me… my friends are all settled with kiddos. I’m soooo ready to automatically be a wife/mom!

 

Jason plays pool with the boys… Mel gushes to the girls and cries as usual.  

 

 

After 2 hours of watching these embarassing moments, time for the rose ceremony and it’s sweet Naomi that gets sent home. Jason’s bright parting words:  “You’re gonna conquer the world.” Haha. Geee… thanks!

 

Happy Heart Week, 

 

L

 

Song- of-the-day: \”Syndicate\” by The Fray

 

Love Week Part One: the Pick-up artists February 9, 2009

Filed under: UM this just happened — Lauren Fulmer @ 5:35 pm

Hey all!

 

In honor of one of my (ahem) favorite holidays… this week’s posts will all be revolving around a common theme: Love.

 

So it was warm in Chi-town this weekend. The phrases “mid-50’s” and “mid-february” aren’t a likely pair where I come from. Practically T-shirt weather if you ask me.

 

Anyways, it seems that, along with the lovely weather, out came all the local creep-os.

 

Friday night, my friends and I all went up to the Museum of Contemp Art for their monthly happy-hour event. I love this museum despite the often oddball art. Anyways… my crew must not have gotten the memo, but I am convinced that this particular event was actually an episode from Vh1’s “The Pick-up Artist”.

Mr. Game himself

Mr. Game himself

 

A few of my faves lines of the evening?

  • Sarah getting told she had beautiful hair,  followed by “you look just like Sarah Jessica Parker”. Ehhh… not so much a compliment considering SJP is in her 40’s and was voted “Most Unsexy Woman” by Maxim mag.
thanks... but no, thanks

thanks... but no, thanks

 

  • Some guy flirting with Lyndsay: “Looks like a bird landed on your head.”  Her response? “Uh ohhhh (completely dry/sarcastic)”. That boy= Shut down

 

  • “Hi, I’m Ketchup.” — this is an actual line a guy used on my friend who was wearing a mustard colored dress. “Umm… excuse me!?”  Guys- just a sidenote… confusion is never the response you’re looking for. It just never quite seems to translate into “interested”.

 

  • In one of the more disturbing conversations I’ve had… (I swear I’m too nice to strangers)… this dude takes his hand and pulls my hair back and starts looking at my ear. Just when I think he’s going to compliment my earrings or something equally creepy, he outdoes himself by saying : “You’ve got fantastic earlobes! Three piercings?… niiiiiice”. I can’t even begin to comment on this. True story… i kid you not.

 

  • Finally, and this might take the cake, as we are manuevering our way out of the crowd, my friend Sarah, who’s in town for the weekend,  accidentally bumped into this guy who turned to her, flashed a giant perv-smile, held up his hand, and stated: “See this hand? This is what I use to spank with…”  Thank you, sir, you’ve officially terrified my friend and chances are she won’t be back to visit anytime soon.

 

Ahhh good laughs. These poor lads were probably just trying to land a V-day date. Maybe next time… or maybe not.

 

Cheers,

LPF

 

 

In the spirit of last night’s Grammy’s…

Song-of-the-day: \”Dead and Gone\” by TI /Justin Timberlake

 

It’s Not You. It’s Me. February 6, 2009

Filed under: a good read,hi...hello...hi — Lauren Fulmer @ 4:53 pm

Happy Friday, yo!

 

Having  the best day at work. Projects here and there, with the perfect amount of downtime in the middle. Ok, so post-lunch has been a little radio-silent around the office. You know what that means…

 

 No project on my desk = time to peruse through my collection of friends’ blogs, my daily reads.

 

So I was reading my friend Jason’s blog and stumbled upon this jem of a blog: http://blog.andymerrick.com/?p=134 

 

Long story short– this dude started a series of blog posts titled: “Why Guys Aren’t Asking You Out” –and it is brilliant! I sat in my office and laughed my way through this mult-part breakdown of the many quirks of guys and gals on the dating (or NON-dating) scene.

 

boy_girl_symbols

 

Men will never fully understand women. Ever. But this guy actually has a pretty accurate grasp on the female mind. He either has done MUCH research on the topic or he secretly has a female co-writer. If you take a chance to read through pieces of it, you’ll find he’s brutally honest but also puts a comical spin on the total awkwardness that we call “dating”.

 

Nonetheless,  a fun Friday afternoon read if you have a few minutes…

 

Shoot, had I more time today, I’d scribble out a few thoughts of my own on the topic. Hmmm… stay tuned for that. To be continued.

 

Also, it appears that I’ve stumbled upon this blog on the exact day that the ultimate chick-flick, He’s Just Not That Into You, comes out.  It seems every group of my girlfriends in this city is going to catch this movie tonight. Precisely why I chose to hang with the one group that isn’t : )

 

movie

 

Have wonderful weekends….

 

L

 

Song-of-the-day: \”Something is Not Right with Me\” by Cold War Kids

 

If You’re Gonna Party… Party for a Purpose February 3, 2009

Filed under: For a Cause — Lauren Fulmer @ 11:43 pm

Hey guys!

 

Just wanted to get the word out about an fun event coming to Chicago this Thursday night. 

 

The cause? ….Falling Whistles: a new nonprofit benefiting the child soldiers of Congo.  In one of the world’s largest wars, young kids are being sent to man the front-lines.  This is not only an event to raise money for a cause,  but also to help spread awareness and to get their story heard. 

 

Essentially it’s going to be a movie screening/benefit concert/fundraiser all in one. It will be a grab-bag evening of sorts. Translation: giant party. Now can I get a group “yeee haww”!?

 

Now for the deets:

 

WHEN:  Thursday, 2/5. Fun starts @ 8:00PM

 

WHERE: Angels & Kings – 710 N. Clark

 

ENTERTAINMENT: 

FILM- “THE LAUNDRY”

Executive Produced by: Joe Trohman of Fall Out Boy
written by: Alex Beh and Ryan Mullins
Screening @ 9pm

 

MUSIC: 

Beatboxer Yuri Lane

Andy Davis

DJ Matt Roan

 

ADMISSION: $10- a donation to Falling Whistles

 

chicago_7

 

 

Ok Chi-city friends… I hope to see you there! It’s an open event for a GREAT cause and I know you’re probably going out anyways.. so no excuses.

 

 

Cheers,

L.P.

 

And if you still need more convincing–here’s a song by one of the performing musicians….

 

Song-of-the-day: \”Earth and Venus\” by Andy Davis